Wrestling Quote #36: Internet Dating

This from Jerry Lawler on Monday Night, King of the wrestling one liners, during Mark Henry's entrance:
"I've got an interesting fact about Mark Henry, he just tried internet dating and the computer matched him up with Detroit."
Classic.

2009 Dirty Awards: Worst Finisher of the Year

Nominations and Winner:
- World’s Strongest Slam (Mark Henry)
- S.O.S (Kofi Kingston)
- The 12 Steps (Luke Gallows) (winner)
- Playmaker (Montel Vontavious Porter)
- Tadpole Splash (Hornswoggle)
The winner of this Dirty is Luke Gallows finishing move the 12 Step. Where to start with why this move is awful? For one thing it leaves the apply open to a head butt which WWE seem to ignore. Also the move looks hideous. The S.O.S by Kingston is just not as good as Trouble in Paradise or the Boom Drop. The World’s Blandest Slam is a more appropriate name for that move. The Playmaker was boring when Randy Orton used it when he first debut and it is just as boring now. The Tadpole splash need I say more.

NEXT UP: Most Improved

Wrestling Quotes 33,34 and 35

Santino to Sheamus before his match, to be honest in the list of stupid things Santino has done this is possible the most stupid. 'Your jealous of me because I actually have pigmentation of the skin... No you think I am after your lucky charms!' The other two quotes come from The Miz's verbal attack on Verne Troyer. 'And I shall call him Mini Miz' 'Well done... for being saved by the World's Blandest Man, Fat Bastard!'

Wrestling Quote #31: Bragging Rights DX Team Talk

Also at WWE Bragging Rights we saw the 7-on-7 Raw vs Smackdown Match. Earlier in the night DX gave a little pep-talk to the Raw Team. Triple H: Guys gather round, it's Raw 1, Smackdown 1, the stakes have been upped. We cannot lose this match tonight, so what we... Jack Swagger: Do we really need this little rah rah speech? I mean the fact is, I'm on the team, therefore it's better, therefore, you shouldn't worry so much. Shawn Michaels: Look! If it were only that simple Swagger. You have all the athletic ability in the world, but you know what? You have no-ones' respect, and it's respect that is going to carry this team. Back me up on this Hunter. HHH: Right, no-one respects you. The thing is individually, the team shouldn't even be able to get along. I mean, let's face facts, we've been making fun out of Mark Henry ever since that time he nearly had a baby with May Young. Mark Henry: Man that was a long time ago, nobodies still thinking about that, I mean you're not still picking on me. HHH: No and even if we were, thats still not the most important thing at this time. Listen we have stuffed Vince McMahon's head up Big Show's naked butt. We beat Cody Rhodes so badly that he had to be carried away on a stretcher. And more importantly, we exposed this man as a phony Jamaican. Kofi Kingston: Woah, woah, I told you guys that the only reason I did that was because I was paying tribute to the Jamaican heritage. HBK: Stop, Stop! That's not important, the fact is Swagger, nobody on this team really likes Hunter and myself, yeah it's true, but they do respect us and so will you. Now, if you don't want to be a part of this team you can walk out right now and quiet frankly I'll replace you with the first person I see... (Hornswoggle comes in wearing DX gear)... OK maybe not the first person... (Horny does the DX chop) HHH: Take that stuff off and wash your face... Listen guys, the bottom line is we cannot lose tonight, we will not lose tonight, this is bigger than just a match, this is about honour, this is about pride, this is a bout being able to go into a locker room and see those SmackDown guys and not have them look you in the eye and know your a loser. We have to win tonight. So I need to know, Are you ready? HBK: Come on! (They all put theirr hands in the middle) HHH: I said: Are.... You..... Ready!? All: RAW! HBK: Woaho and If you're not down with that we've got two words for ya! Crowd: SUCK IT!

Raw and New Found Respect for Todd Grisham

RAW was poor, 30 minute opening segment with DX with very litte point, yes it was mildly ammusing and yes it was funny to see Big Dick Johnson return but was it necessary? No. The guest host was there for like 10 seconds and all he did was set up a crap tag team match. Oh and one other thing relating to the tag team match can you break this code: 'PVM NDA RAKM NHEYR SA A GAT EAMT LILW UCSK!' and was the of two poor boxing related segments. The only high point was The Miz vs Santino Marella. Oh and I supose the fact Cena only appeared for 5 minutes is always a positive.

Also a subpoint unrelated to RAW after seeing his abuse of TNA on Byte this, I now have respect for Todd Grisham!!! Also the last caller on the vid summed it up "TNA sucks!"

WWE WWE WWE WWE WWE WWE WWE

As the title of the article suggests I am find WWE's programing a bit repetitive. The reunion of DX the third although funny and the future promises to be funny I can't help but feel that it is a case of been there done that. On top of that if this senario is anything like what WWE did with the Miz and Morrison, DX will probably beat Legacy as the dinosaurs beat the young guns. The main event picture is no better with Randy Orton taking on John Cena again. It feels stale. Also if we look at Cena's recent sparing partner The Miz he has been reduce to being banned from 'SummerFest' sorry 'SummerSlam' by some no name wally of a guest host. On top of that He took on the returning Eugene to get his title back. Mark Henry is now face, but not the sort of face that could be the new number one contender, just a joke in primary colour, why not put Eugene with Hornswoggle the perfect combo. Also two of the biggest heels in the company, one literally one not so. The Big Show and Y2J have been bundled together as tag champions at a time when Smackdown needs Jericho as CM Punk is the only top end heel. Also Big Show looks awful in primary colours and should only wear black because that suits his character. However it is not all bad, William Regal is now the ECW number 1 contender. Also the young guns of Swagger, Kofi, MVP, Shelton, Morrison, Ryder, Ziggler, Evan Bourne and Chris Masters are being given some time to shine. Mickie James is the new Divas Champion which is thoroughly deserved as she is one of the best divas in the company. So there is some light at the end of the tunnel. So at the momment I've got just one word for WWE, Repetative.

Monday Night Thoughts/Tuesday Morning Reactions

Lets be honest, this was a very strange and indifferent episode of Monday Night Raw. First off the best wrestlers tonight were the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions "Team Ego" Chris Jericho & Edge, with a great (but cut short) promo before their title defense, which was a fantastic match where all four performers work perfectly with each other.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, lets start at the start with Vince McMahon and his continuing heel turn, he's not giving away a commercial-free Raw or a ticket refund because WWE can't afford it and it creates easy heat. I heard something about a 15 man trade for about 2 seconds, but since that had already slightly leaked onto the net, there was no worries. Then he introduced the guest host not the GM, Batista! Ohhhhhh! I don't give a s**t! No no, I'm being harsh, he gave us a 4-man tournament and a 3-on-Randy Orton Gauntlet Match (which Batista did really well not to tell us that it was going to be 3 new Raw superstars). Tournament Cena-Miz & HHH-MVP, well I wonder how that's gonna turn out.

First match tonight, Triple H vs MVP. It was obvious which way the match was going to go, but this was a rubbish match to start Raw, it didn't even go over an ad break. The finish was rubbish, too predictable! MVP goes for the playmaker, I knew that HHH would get out of it then s**t all over one of the best young competitors in WWE with the Pedigree (which is the most boring and over use finisher EVER!). Will Triple H ever lose against someone like MVP. And can he please leave Randy Orton alone, how much more can they do between these two, Randy is great, HHH is a douche! They tried to re-vamp this feud in the Road to WrestleMania, considering they had a long summer run last year, ending quicker than WWE would have wanted when Hunter broke Randy's collar bone. So, for the rest of the first hour I was pissed off about how Triple H shat on MVP, why?

Next up was the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match, already talked about this, loved it all. Okay, at the time of writing, I hadn't watched the whole of "The Bash" PPV so didn't see all the Cena-Miz Match but I heard that it was crap and didn't live up to any of the hype. On Raw they replayed the recap promo from the night before and I think that it must have been longer than the actually match on Sunday.

This match, which was the second in the Night of Champions #1 Contenders Tournament was good and was a solid match and they should have had a match of that caliber at the PPV, it's called a Pay-Per-View for a reason! I enjoyed this match when I got into it and knew that it wouldn't be a straight squash (and why the f**k would it be!). Except for the very end, "Moves of Doom" and Short tap to shit hold, I like this match considering it was unfortunately obvious the outcome.

I'm really liking the Miz, he's good in and out (theoretically) of the ring, even Chris Jericho, master of the heel, said about Miz practicing his promos backstage on Sunday: "In the pretape room inside re Arco arena watching Miz stumble and mumble his way through humane society promos. Top entertainment!".

Haven't heard of a Women's Fatal-Four Way before yesterday night, not bad, but don't they have a better heel than Rosa Mendes. Alright match, but when they where on the outside trying to allow others to fight in the ring, they looked like right idiots. One thing, near the end of the match, Beth Phoenix was dropped off the apron and it looked like she really smashed her head on the ring steps, that look and sounded too real, if it was, Michael Cole said that Maryse was laughing at that point, evil bitch, haha.

Here comes the Big Show, where is he going with any storyline right now, what, is he going to get a United States Championship match at Night of Champions, shut up. Double countout, could you really see a non-Big Show win against Kofi being anything but a countout or DQ, but hey a double countout is the same sorta stuff. Show then looked like a douche by storming out, doing nothing and the camera following him all the way, couldn't they have just gone to a break earlier. Silly match.

The Main Event was a 3-on-1 Gauntlet Match with the WWE Champion Randy Orton facing off against 3 new performers that have been "traded" to Raw. First up Evan Bourne, yeah! That's good, and strangely I didn't know how much of a size difference the was going to be between Evan and Randy, Evan looked like a child with his child-like head. He did well in the short time but lost from a massive top rope RKO after Orton stopped the Shooting Star Press, lost. Up next, again from ECW, Jack Swagger! YES! I'm loving this, he showed in april at the Draft show against John Cena how he can hold his own against the big boys in WWE. His future is bright. And finally, Mark Henry, who got a great reaction? What? Does everyone in the arena remember who this is, but actually he played it as a babyface, this is the only way I think I'm going to be able to enjoy Mark Henry, but I think I'm really going to enjoy face Mark Henry. I started to remember Sexual Chocolate, it won't be like that, but he's smiling and soaking up the pop from the crowd, who have been very good all night. But the end was very lackluster, I was thinking "Oh, Is that it? I guess so... Erm, Yeay!"

It was alright and it'll be interesting to see how the new superstars will slot in, is Jack Swagger the new Legacy member, Randy was rather surprised at Jack's actions and count-out (on the ring apron). I think I'm looking forward to next week, Ted DiBiase Sn. as Guess Host and HHH-Cena for WWE Title shot at Night of Champions (btw its so obvious its going to be a triple threat, because they've done Orton-HHH, too much and they will not let either of their biggest faces be beat like they beat Miz & MVP), YEAH?

Wrestling Quote #13: Undertaker's Warning

The 13th Wrestling Quote should come from the Lord of Darkness himself The Undertaker. This grave threat was delivered to Mark Henry from The Undertaker at Unforgiven 2007 when he returned from injury. The simple threat and warning was: "Don't be afraid, Be terrified!"

WWE Superstars #4

On the forth ever edition of WWE Superstars there will be one of the big mis-matches in WWE History, When Hornswoggle faces the Big Show. Click to see the Tale of the Tape. Strangely with this only being the 4th episode of WWE Superstars, this is the 3rd time Hornswoggle would have made an appearance on the show and the Big Show's Second.

Also on this edition of WWE Superstars, The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin will face the current Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio, what will happen between two of Smackdown's best Superstars, just 3 days before Rey defends his Championship against Chris Jericho at Judgement Day.

And Finally on this Episode of WWE Superstars, the ECW Champion will have his hands full with "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry, with his title defense to Jack Swagger only 3 days away, Expect Everything.

This is the 100th Post here on The Dirt Sheet HD blog, I wanted to do something better and bigger, but the blog had been left not updated for nearly a week, so I had to at least get this one in.

Match Preview: MITB

Always one of the most exciting matches at Wrestlemania every year and this is now the 5th Money in the Bank Match, which always has the athletic and high-flying action every year. It, to be honest, could be better this year, because Mark Henry's in the match, why is he in this match, a ladder match, he can't wrestle let alone do a match like that, he will not be able to get half up the ladder. Except for him everyone else has experience in the match and has the creadability, even Kane. There is so much experience in this match, that this is Shelton Benjamin's 4th MITB and he adds something to the match everytime, he's the best superstar in this match who has never won it. I wouldn't be surprised if it starts 'Mania and that would be a great start to what looks like it will be an almost perfect night. But this year I think it might be the first one that is somewhat unpredictable at the winner unless the go with Punk again, or maybe after years of doing this match giving a real push to Shelton, or Vince might have changed his mind about Christian after all this time. The one thing I hope doesn't happen is Mark Henry winning, because I would stop watching WWE until he won it and then lost it again and totally forget about him again. Anyway I hope Mark Henry gets an injury early on to get him out of the way and then have a real match, which is shaping up to be one of the best Money In The Bank Ladder Matches, and considering they always say about that someone could cash in the contract that night at Wrestlemania, it would be great to actually see someone do that. And Finally, what would have made it better would be Evan Bourne being in the match, along with Shelton, Punk, Kofi, Christian and MVP that would be a great match, but too many babyfaces, considering R-Truth was meant to be in Mark Henry's position, wouldn't have been great theatre.