Wrestling Quote #28: CM Punk's Quotes of the Month

“I became the first-ever Straight Edge World Heavyweight Champion. Then I got rid of Jeff for good. Just three weeks after he’s gone for good, Jeff goes and does what I’ve been saying for months. It’s all there in black and white. You can turn on the TV and see it. I’ll tell you this, Eve, you’ll never see my mug shot posted all over the Internet. You won’t read about me in the headlines, unlike Jeff. Unlike all these people, these wanna be French derelicts who pollute themselves with booze and cigarette smoke.” “You are like this generation’s ’Alice in Wonderland.’ You see, ’Alice in Wonderland’ took an entire generation of worthless hippies and led them to experiment with magic mushrooms and recreational hallucinogens.” “You’re all going to crawl into a bottle, maybe pop three or four extra pain pills, just to numb yourself from the reality that your hero, the Undertaker, tapped out.” “Okay, I get it. You people destroy billions of brain cells on a daily basis with your excess consumption of alcoholic beverages, over–the–counter as well as prescription medication, the latter of which chances are probably aren’t even yours, and a veritable laundry list of other substances that you shove into your soft little bodies day after day.” C.M. Punk on WWE fans: “What kind of existence do you have that you need to pop a pill to get out of bed, and then you ravage your body with pitchers of beer and that’s supposed to somehow heal your self-worth. And then you inhale poison into your lungs to calm your nerves. And then at the end of your sad, pathetic, lonely day, you need another pill to help you sleep. You are all just a legion of inebriated zombies waiting in line at the pharmacy with your hand out begging and pleading for that newest anti-depressant that you think is going to put an artificial smile on your face. You scratch and you claw for scapegoats for all of you inadequacies. And believe me, you have a lot of inadequacies. And don’t tell me you don’t self-medicate yourself to forget about it all. Don’t tell me you don’t self-medicate to hide from all of your inadequacies. Don’t deny it, because if you do, you’re a liar, too.” “If you’re not straight edge like me, I’m simply better than you.” Jim Ross in response: “He truly believes he’s a better human being than everyone else.” “Now that the Charismatic Enabler is gone, I can see it on your faces. You are wondering if his living in the moment life of excesses was the answer. The clear answer is it wasn’t.” “I am built to last and I am here to stay. If you are going to emulate any WWE superstar, the choice is certainly clear. It’s a choice of a new generation and his name is C.M. Punk.” “I certainly won’t ever miss a show because of an incident at an airport. I certainly won’t skip a WrestleMania because I failed a test.” “I can imagine you all sitting on your couch vegging out, smoking your illegal substances, hanging on Undertaker’s every magical trick, ohhing and ahhing all of his spooky powers.” “I have laughed in the face of temptation time and time again. I have never tapped out to societies schoolyard attempts at peer pressure.” “I’m harder than any alcohol you can drink. I’m straighter than any line you can snort up your nose. I certainly can hurt you faster than any pill you put on your tongue.”