WWE Play-by-Play Notes for the Week Beginning 12th April 2010

Here are my notes for Monday Night Raw from the O2 Arena, London, UK:

• The MNR Crowd boos anyone that has a faint interest in Friday Night Smackdown
• David Hasselhoff has multiple personality disorder
• Eve Torres=Zero Reaction
• The Hoff/King/Cole are all perverts
• With a moonsalt like that you could mistake Eve for Kurt Angle
• I hate Eve Torres' Music
• KFC's Double Down "So meaty theres no space for the bun" another way for wrestlers to die young
• Big Show was on his period before WrestleMania
• "I can't believe a man so large has such a small ego" - Thats what she said
• Bret Hart is hanging round Raw like a bad smell
• "Give me a break" - OK
• 90s Icon line was gold
• The British Bulldog was one of the 16,107 in attendance, Oh sorry forgot
• The bulldog was in the building and thats y the baby bull set a challenge
• I'm rooting for Tyson Kidd to get some charaisma
• HooRah!
• Shades of the BB yeah but smith can actually hold miz up there with human stength and not the pills
• Michael Cole is shite and too easily excitable
• That should be big shows new finisher the kidney punch only available in HD
• Otunga is Batistas bitch and copys everyline he says
• Apparently the o2 arena is not far from THE heathrow airport (erm no)
• OMG Carilto has a match on TV that isnt on Superstars
• Carlito is Chavo mark 2
• Randy orton vs jack swagger at Extreme Rules for the WHC, the only reason being that he pinned him in a tag match then beat him last week you know totally opposite to chris jericho/edge #1 contender match
• The SSP in HD is sick
• OMG google liked WM
• Gotta love the most mixed reaction cena will get all year in the UK
• David otunga has to get rid of those jeans
• Batsita IS still waiting for that coffee
• Jerry the king doesnt know the rules of a LMS match
• WTF is batista wearin
• What a waste of clothing that could have made a nice replacement to cenas orange
• Ah there u go we get a sponsored look back at the discret racism
• "Sheamus needs a tan" yeah thats never gonna happen
• Remember kids theres big ben
• HHH fears Sheamus and his missed "t"s "Street Fighhhe"
• I like the "fallen empire" line
• Fella
• We've got pyro for kofi, we need him to get out there and have a match/beat down
• Are you a part of the boom squad? No fuck off, is that like the clique - kofi, evan bourne, mvp, mark henry
• Sheamus thinks that everyones neame is fella
• Remember everyone sheamus never lost the WWE champ it was stollen from him inside the elimination chamber
• The crowd is calling for HHH, yeah but hes still in the USA
• Everybody Hates Kofi
• The Irish Psycho
• Here comes Carlito and OMG a cameo apperance from Vladmir Kozlov
• He wants to get drafted to SD or he'll quit Is that a threat Carlito
• Ah fresh after getting put to sleep by dolph on Friday Night Smackdown it's Josh Matthews having a little chat with the Viper Randy Orton, God I remember the chats they used to have last year, "You wanna ask me a question, Sit down Josh", that was freaky stuff.
• Randy has been waiting for a longtime to fight batista erm selective memory
• This is the closest thing ur gonna get to slow-mo porn
• Haha Santino fresh off his wrestlemania slimjim ad
• Rosa Mendes is really blonde
• Look @ Hoff the perv
• Haha whilste but that is selling to the max take note hunter
• All that did was make me sick of the baywatch theme
• Viper vs Animal next
• Here comes the generic euro tour promo & OMG is that what evan bourne sounds like shiz
• Randy orton forgot his wings in his original RKO pose
• WWE have got rid of the taxi and posst box so now the only thing thing bout UK ppl in USA now know bout us is a mini and as doubledecker bus, wait a mini, havent WWE seen the Italian job
• WTF selective memory they are saying that batista was the whole reason randy was kicked out of evolution, not to mention HHH
• Vintage randy or... oh shut up
• "Good match tonight randy, got a load of clothesllines in"
• Oooops Michael Cole, did you just say "Live in front of over 16 thousand at the o2 arena in london", u were doing so well all night
• Jackie Swagger
• And gutwrench pwrbmb what so jack swagger missed main eventing a house show at the same time for his minute on the screen. sorry im wrong he did a promo and opening match against kane at a house show in nottingham also on monday
• No, its mine! My Batista! My Scrotum Head! now ill count to 10

Now some notes from Tuesday's NXT also as everything this week, from the O2 Arena:

• I think the Recap from last week made Slater look weak against Kane, he had a better performance
• Don't forget there are only 4 weeks before the first elimination
• Did Michael Cole just call Josh Matthews, Jack
• FYI, the UK NXT airs at 11pm on a Thursday so not many people see it
• Therefore David Otunga with Monday Night Experience gets one of the biggest responces
• "RUN NXT" I like that T-Shirt
• Michael Traver IS the pressure
• "A-List" is an official WWE Copyright
• Raw wasn't "LIVE" Matt Striker
• Justin Gabriel has been helped a lot by being with Matt Hardy, that was a good mix
• Gabriel vs Cena @ Wrestlemania 29 ?
• "Not just an American Audience" really, well done Matt
• STOP saying "Tonight", "Tonight", "Tonight"
• It's a good prize to create their entrance theme, but actually I think it helps them coming out to their Pro's music
• 10 Minutes before the Competition even started, wasting time.
• Daniel Bryan SUCKS!
• Love Cole's Comments, "Mr. Charisma"
• I can't spell Blazaie
• Wade, that was good.
• Haha, Justin, "Roses are Red, Voilets are Blue and I'm the Best in the World at what I do"
• The English Crowd can't connect to a Rose, WTF? It's not the 1500s
• Love the Booooooos from the UK Crowd, No one knows what those varities are
• David Otunga doesn't get sleep, Miss Hudson is lonley tonight. And put Josh Matthews.
• First time we've actually heard Skip Speaking but that's alright that he got some time on the mic.
• "Who Are Ya!" - No one apparently
• Toothpaste, shut your mouth Darren Young, "that's PG right"
• Tarver is Angry and no one knows who he is?
• Haha, not so liked are you Heath & Danielson
• Bubblegum, Shot, don't say Brands no one knows what those are and most of Skips talk-off was shots of Wade Barrett
• "Wind" haha farts, oh "The Winds of Change", NICE. Pandering to the Crowd what a dude.
• My Days that segment was 21 Minutes, thats longer or as long as some Family Guy Episodes (you know minius Ads)
• Wait so they have 3 matches to fit in less than half an hour, so they ad in a rather Pointless Raw Rebound (I would think that all those who watch NXT watch Raw) great timing their WWE
• I respect Jack Swagger, he did a match with Kane in Nottingham then drove 2 and half hours to make the last minutes of the Raw Taping in London.
• Oh there's Dizzee Rascal!
• (8) My Time to Shine (8)
• I'm looking forward to Extreme Rules
• I HATE recaps
• I LOVE CM Punk, nice backstage segment.
• "Nothing but a Punk"
• So it's Christian versus Wade Barrett, this should be good
• Chris Jericho talking to the Cole/Matthews, love it.
• "Stay Down, Christian, Stay Down!"
• I think that Michael Cole & Josh Matthews NXT Commentary is like a guilty pleasure, because it's a rare thing in WWE
• Everyone is after Josh Matthews, Michael "Who are ya" Tarver & Dolph Ziggler
• Heath Slater gets a sly look from Christian, nice.
• David Otunga was on Access Hollywood &&& What!? After that there is less than 10 minutes for two matches
• Daniel Bryan is the Susan Boyle of the WWE, Priceless.
• Miz is a Psycho, love it.
• Cole is eating it up.
• Michael Cole Soapbox.
• Love the fact that Michael Cole is the Joey Styles of the Original ECW. I still love Cole-Matthews Banter and the fact that Cole has an view on NXT makes it all better.
• Regal-Bryan should have been a 20 minute Main Event not 2 minute thing, Bryan is now 0-8, well he's had a match every week, the other NXT Rookies cannot say that, still he got his mouth f**ked up.
• No Responce to Luke Gallow's Music, it sounds freaky.
• I can't believe this is the Main Event, and the fact it has literally seconds to go.
• That's different, red crosses on Punk's hands couldn't he find any back marker pen in Europe. And yes that is more interesting than this match. And also that random cut-out to Hardy/Gabriel, about 5 seconds before Young won.
• That a rubbish way to finish the show, it did nothing, I'm sorry nothing.

Now to Thursday Night and officially WWE's most dull show, mostly thanks to the commentary, WWE Superstars (and the one I wrote the least for, I wonder why?):

• Todd Grisham welcomes to us to Superstars where it's a Raw Mid-Card Main Event MVP-DiBiase
• Here comes Hardy, apparently this entrance had to be re-recorded.
• Carlito, Mr. WWE Superstars, remember he is going to quit soon.
• Irony, Matt Striker said that WWE Superstars (Smackdown) would be visiting Istanbull, but as I write this, that event has been Cancelled thanks to the ash out of Iceland.
• Michael Tarver is just watching the show
• Carlito is a good talent, he just needs a push he would be good in the IC Title hunt on Smackdown.
• Todd & Matt Striker get on.
• They don't talk about Carlito becoming US Champion on his first night much.
• I think Michael Tarver must be on some sort of drugs, he's too hyper or is it just Coca Cola.
• Nice take down of Tarver by Justin.
• It only takes 3 Seconds in the WWE. Yeah and sometimes that's all they get but Superstars is one thing better for the mid-carders
• I haven't watched Superstars in a bit and no I don't want to ask a Diva.
• Oh My God, please shut up, King.
• Christian is still being shat on, he might have been in two matches this week but none of those on Raw.
• Woah! It's Chavo, I really can't remember this last time I saw Chavo on TV.
• Michael Cole doesn't listen to Jerry Lawler. Well I won't with this mundane level of commentary.
• In some ways, Superstars is good because it doesn't include a promo segment meaning you can just get 3 good matches in a 40 minute timeslot, with all recaps and the like, thats around 10 minutes per-match, please tell me how that isn't good.
• Watching this you would never know that Chavo is a multi-time Tag Team and Cruiserweight Champion, and a ECW Champion.
• I could fall asleep listening to this commentary and not in the good way.
• "That missle dropkick worked" What great insight there Jerry.
• Nice, "Eddie" Chant but Chavo seems to never be allowed to actually do the Three Amigos.
• Woah Gory Bomb!chavo is that Chavos Finisher, I really can't remember the last time he did that.
• Not bad Match at 6 Minutes long, Cole & King did nothing for me, I could just stop this right now as it's a Raw Main Event
• oh my days is that a NXT Recap, I swear this is different I remember once they had a Smackdown Recound once, two years ago?
• The Recap was actually quite good, nice editing, but they cut out most of the crowd reaction
• Please god give me strength, a Raw Rebound and Extreme Rules Promotion.
• (8) It's a New day (8)
• Here comes "The Fortunate Son" The Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase and recap of Ted getting retubution on Christian 10 Days ago
• Oh the WWE Universe doesn't know what they aren't talking about, Ted eh?
• Dodge car in the UK, what?
• Ted bought a Porsurce when he was 18. I mean what a twat, right?
• And here comes the sterotypical poor guy MVP making a non-PG reference to Ted's rear-end.
• Now I want to go to Univeristy, so can everyone please stop talking about Ted's trust fund.
• Well to be honest, I'm pretty sure that MVP and Ted make about the same amount of money in the WWE.
• So Jerry, you gonna make a Police Scanner joke.
• OMG, Cole just made a human reproduction comment.
• Jerry Lawler kinda has a point, but you can't really say anything King, because the King failed to become the Mayor.
• "Anyone that says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop" Like.
• Oh yeah, if you forgot the Draft is coming up soon.
• Wait when MVP was heel he signed "the biggest contract in sports entertainment history" on Smackdown and he was the one bragging about how much money he had. I prefered MVP as heel.
• And Ted hits Dream Street and that's that for Montel.

And now to the Friday Night's delight or is it Raw Disabled Younger Brother, Smackdown:

• I love Drew McIntyre's entrance and that camera angle out to he crowd with him slowly walking to the ring was great
• Come on everybody, Drew just wants to be friends, he knows that no likes him, oh but he doesn't them either, because he's a Scot & The O2 Arena is in England. It's worse William Regal being in Scotland, the Scots hate the English more than Vice Versa.
• R-Truth needs to shut his mouth, I've become sick of it "And That's the Truth"
• Matt Striker & Josh Matthews play golf on Wednesdays
• Dolph Ziggler needs a push, he's a fantastic Psycho
• Did I know that the WWE Universe are Perverts & Jerry Lawler the token Perv
• Layla is Matt Striker's English Muffin
• Striker has a Master Degree
• Layla is Leso for Vickie Guerrero
• Michelle McCool is the new William Regal
• Forgot we had the token Divas/Womens UK Championship Match on Raw
• Layla doesnt know where the Exit is.
• Beth & Mickie have common enemies so that makes them best friends, well done there Todd
• I Still Can't get over how good it makes me feel when CM Punk's Music Hits
• Sign of the Night: "SES Chill out and have a Beer"
• The Miz still had his Blue Peter Badge on, thats breaking Kayfabe, Blue Peter was on Tuesday
• I know that they held Miz back in London to do Promotion on Tuesday but they kinda just randomly put him out there to go on Commentary
• Miz messed up Mysterio's entrance. like.
• I like how NXT Rookie Darren Young is on Smackdown, continuing the Angle
• Nice Work, I like Tyson Kidd & Rey Rey Working Together
• Miz was the heartattack that put HBK in the hospital and Taker pulled the plug, love it
• Miz was entertaning on Commentary but was bit distracting
• Haha, the UK gave Miz the key to the City with the Blue Peter Badge
• Miz needs to Defend his US Title soon i think a guess host needs to inforce the 30 Day Rule, last time was Elimination Chamber
• That 6-Man Tag Would have had more impact if Miz wasn't on commentary
• Miz has felt DH SMith in the ring, Ewwwwwwwww
• I'm starting to like the Baby Bull more, I liked Tyson Kidd before but as I said I gunning for him to gain some points in the chrasima collumn
• Nice 619 round the post
• "The Alley Chicago" T-Shirt Serena had on I thought was quite good
• OMG its the Dudebusters (OMG they are actually going wit that as an official name) and here comes JTG
• There's a little gangster street in workings there from Matt Striker, forgot he was from NYC, you know along with another 10 Million People
• Another "Who Are Ya" Chant to the Dudebusters haha, these two have as much personality as Michael Traver
• OMG JTG let his hair down and looks like Sissy that probably why Shad attacked him, Matt do you want to explain more about ganster hairstyles and infighting
• Josh Matthews is back and speechless alongside Edge.
• Jack, One, Two. Ohhhhh Yeah!
• Here We go with the Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship, here is your Champion Jack "Gummpy Boots" Swagger
• Matt Striker should have quoted Jericho's twitter during his entrance, "Roses are Red, Voilets are Blue, and I am the best in the world at what I do"
• Jack "This is Mine" Swagger has Class because he was college educated
• My Days Jack Swagger has massive limbs and you know what they say about long limbs... yeah, nothing, you're tall
• Todd Just said John Morrisons name, reminding me that he injuried-ish depends on who you believe
• Stupid Crowd calling for the Spear, he's on the Second Rope Numb-Nuts
• OMG the distance is there could we see a Spear, please Matt I know they want you to dumb down, but please shut your mouth when you say stuff like that
• The Okalhoman with the Okalhoman Roll, Well Done
• No Matt, Y2J isn't a Mentalist thats a TV Show
• Jack Steals the win, he would be very good for a Ultimate Oppotunist Gimmick
• The Education with give you the WHC, young people
• That Gutwrench on Edge might have been for Randy Orton, I still think their storyline isnt really there
• haha on the Replay when Jack won, Matt Striker jumped out of his chair and pumped that fist
• Chris Jericho could have just ended Edge's Career, I hate blatant over statements like that.

And that's a Wrap!